Discovering the quiet courage to live deeply in a world that never stops demanding more.

Reading Forgotten Among the Lilies: Learning to Love Beyond Our Fears by Ronald Rolheiser felt like having a conversation with a wise friend who understands the weariness that comes from constant striving. In this book, Rolheiser dives into universal human struggles like loneliness, fear, and the never-ending search for meaning. He speaks directly to that gnawing ache so many of us feel—the pressure to be "enough" in a world that’s always demanding more. Rolheiser’s words reach out like a hand on the shoulder, a reminder to take a deep breath and let go.

One of the things I appreciated most was his critique of our cultural obsession with productivity and success. Rolheiser argues that real peace isn’t found in climbing higher or achieving more, but in embracing what he calls “the ordinary.” He says,

“Real happiness is found in the acceptance of limits,

in finding peace within the boundaries of our lives.”

For someone like me, who often feels pulled between productivity and fruitfulness, this was both challenging and comforting to hear. Rolheiser has a way of saying, gently but firmly, that it’s okay to slow down, that the truest joy often lies in life’s quieter, simpler moments.

What I loved about Forgotten Among the Lilies is how relatable it felt. When Rolheiser talks about the overwhelming demands of modern life, he puts words to a kind of exhaustion I think a lot of us recognize but don’t always talk about.

“What we long for is often simply to live without so much pressure, without so many demands, without such a struggle to find meaning and happiness,” he writes,

Here he is capturing a truth that resonated deeply with me. In a world where success often seems synonymous with self-worth, Rolheiser’s message is refreshingly countercultural.

That said, I found some aspects of the book challenging. Rolheiser’s reflections, while beautiful, sometimes veer into abstraction. At times, I found myself wanting something more concrete, a few more steps on how to actually apply his insights. His writing can also feel a bit repetitive. There are moments where he circles back to similar themes in a way that risks losing momentum. If you’re someone who prefers structure or actionable advice, this could be a little frustrating. I also felt that while Rolheiser’s reflections are accessible and compassionate, they don’t always delve deeply into the theological or philosophical underpinnings that could add an extra layer for readers who crave a bit more depth.

But the simplicity of his style is part of his charm, too. There’s something in his straightforward voice that reminds me why I started reading spiritual books in the first place—Rolheiser writes with a deep empathy that doesn’t make things unnecessarily complicated. One of my favorite quotes, where he speaks to those of us who are often anxious or weighed down by worry, stands out for its gentle wisdom:

“We must stop being afraid of ghosts, real or imagined.

There is no peace in trying to control everything.”

This reminded me of the power of letting go, of embracing the uncertainties of life rather than struggling against them.

Overall, Forgotten Among the Lilies is a deeply heartening read, especially for those who feel weary of today’s fast pace and the constant demand to do more. Despite a few structural flaws, Rolheiser’s insights about finding meaning amidst chaos and accepting our limits feel like the gentle advice we often need but rarely hear. I finished the book feeling seen, comforted, and encouraged to approach life with a bit more courage and a lot more grace.

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We loose ourselves in a book,

we find ourselves there too - anonymous

~Sylvia