Behind the wall..

Jan 23
4 min read

There was a woman, battered by life’s storms, who found herself before a wall. She struck it with her fists, over and over, screaming into the unyielding stone. Her cries were raw, her strength ebbing. She thought the wall was the enemy, the obstacle separating her from peace, but she couldn’t see what lay beyond.

Behind the wall, Jesus stood silently. He wasn’t the enemy, though he was the wall itself. His eyes were closed, but he felt every strike, every tear, every ounce of her pain. With arms outstretched, he waited—not in frustration, but with boundless patience. He whispered silently,

“I am here. You are not alone. Trust me.”

The woman couldn’t hear his words, blinded by her anguish. Yet, the wall bore her marks and cracks. Through those tiny fractures, a golden light began to shine. The light touched her face, though she didn’t notice. Each strike brought her closer to understanding, even if she couldn’t yet see the love holding her together.

When My Will Meets God’s Will

In my journey of faith, I often encounter moments where it feels as though I am beating against an immovable wall—a place of frustration, exhaustion, and questioning. These moments leave me wondering why God seems silent, why my prayers seem unanswered, or why the obstacles in front of me refuse to move. Have you encountered such a wall on your journey?

Spiritually, these "walls" are not meant to crush me but to shape me. They are not barriers meant to separate me from God but places where His will intersects with my own, offering me a deeper invitation to trust and surrender.

The Wall as a Metaphor for God’s Sovereignty

It has been a hard and humbling realization that the wall represents the tension between my human will and divine will. I often approach life with expectations, plans, and desires, but when they clash with God’s purposes, I feel resistance. This resistance, though not cruelty on God's part but rebellion on my part - is used by God as his way of guiding me to something greater than I can understand in the moment.

In Isaiah 55:8-9, God declares,

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways.”

This truth is often realized at the wall. When I pound against it in frustration, trying to force my way through, I am met with the reality of God’s sovereignty. The wall is not an obstacle to harm me; it is a reminder that God is in control, and His plans for me are far better than my own.

Jesus as the Wall

In the vision I described, Jesus is the wall itself—present yet unseen, strong yet patient. This imagery is became deeply personal and touching in my experience of Jesus with me. When I feel abandoned or unheard, it’s easy to think God is absent. But the truth is that Jesus is always with me, even when I can’t perceive Him.

In John 10:9, Jesus says, “

"I am the door"

Interestingly, a door is part of a wall. While a wall might initially seem like a barrier, Jesus offers Himself as the way through. The very thing I see as resistance is also an opportunity for deeper communion with Him. When I trust Him, I come to understand that He is not blocking me but protecting me, redirecting me, or preparing me for what’s on the other side.

Hitting the Wall: A Call to Surrender

When I hit a spiritual wall, it often feels like failure. I wonder why my efforts fall short, why God doesn’t answer the way I hoped, or why life feels stagnant. These moments are painful, but they are also sacred. They are invitations to let go of my striving and to surrender to God’s will.

I was considering Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, facing His own “wall.” In Matthew 26:39, He prays,

“My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

Even Jesus, fully human and fully divine, experienced the tension of His will meeting the Father’s will. In that moment, His surrender wasn’t a sign of weakness but of trust. It is through surrender that God’s perfect plan is accomplished.

When I hit a spiritual wall, I am being invited into that same posture of surrender. It’s not about giving up; it’s about giving in—to God’s love, His wisdom, and His timing.

Not easy!

The Light Through the Cracks

Almost every wall has cracks. Mine does. The cracks in my wall have come to symbolize the places where God’s grace shines through my pain. When I strike the wall in frustration or despair, it may feel like I myself is breaking, but in truth, I am being refined.

As Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 12:9,

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Through my brokenness, God’s light is revealed. The cracks in the wall remind me that God’s presence is always near, even if I don’t perceive it. They show me that my every struggle, my every tear, and every unanswered prayer is not wasted—it is part of His greater purpose.

The Wall as Transformation

Ultimately, the wall is not just a place of resistance; it is a place of transformation. When you encounter the wall, you are being called to let go of your own understanding and to lean fully on God. It is a process of dying to yourself so that Christ can live more fully in you.

In Galatians 2:20, Paul writes,

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.”

The wall is where this truth becomes real. As you surrender, you are transformed—your will is aligned with God’s will, and you begin to walk in His peace and purpose.

Encouragement for Those at the Wall

I am at a spirtual wall. Are you?

If you find yourself at a spiritual wall, join me. Let us together take heart. The wall is not the end—it is a place of encounter. Together we can remind each other that Jesus is there, unseen but present, arms open, waiting for us to trust Him. As we surrender our will to His, we will discover that the wall is not a barrier but a bridge to deeper faith, greater peace, and a closer relationship with God.

Hold on. Keep trusting. And let the light shine through the cracks.